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Familiar Face

Joe was at a local festival last summer, eating the greasy food (he may have even had fried dough), walking around to all the booths, etc. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted an old friend he...

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Joe Runs Away

When Joe was 13, he got mad at his mother and ran away from home … well, to the woods right behind his house. So he “ran” for about 10 seconds. Actually, he probably didn’t even run; he merely walked...

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Quaker Steak and Tube

For those of you who do not know the wonders of the famous Quaker Steak and Lube restaurant, founded in Western Pennsylvania, just know that their specialty is deep-fried wings, for which they have won...

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Pipe Cleaner Shoe Straps

Usually I don’t think Joe’s wife’s ideas are as bad as Joe’s, but now I’m not so fucking  sure. This morning she shared with me a new fashion statement she’s been working on. “Summer shoes are so...

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Scratch N’ Sniff Mouse Pad

Texts between Joe and I: Joe:  I’m so unmotivated today. Me:  It’s Friday, what do you expect? Joe:  But I have lots of work I need to do. Me:  Then do it.   10 minutes later …   Joe:  Scratch and...

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Treadmill Bike

Joe came into work very sad today. I thought it was just a case of the Monday’s, but it was much more than that. “Well, I blew it!” He explained. “I had my chance, and I missed a great opportunity. Big...

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A Vacation with Joe

These past few days I’ve been on vacation with friends. Somehow Joe weaseled his way into the trip. I mean, what’s a relaxing get-a-way without fucking Joe and his spastic antics, right? Spare me....

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Your-fly-is-down Alert System

A bunch of college friends, including Joe and I, were invited to stay at a friends’ beach house this past week. Since Joe and I live close to one another, we decided to make the 7+ hour ride together....

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Playing-cards Table Glue

While on vacation with friends, including Joe (can’t believe I just called him a fucking friend), we became obsessed with the card game Dominion. If you haven’t heard of or played this game yet, I am...

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Bedazzled Orthopedic Shoes

This one came out of the blue one afternoon when Joe and I were walking around town on vacation. We saw this well-put-together woman in her 70s dressed in leopard pants and a sparkly black top. “She...

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